Hmm.

On Moustaches

May 12 2008

Moustachio!While this may be Moustache May and ‘staches1 are de rigeur these days, I’ve often pondered how they look in the current revival. My reactions range from Selleck-ian genius to creeped-the-hell-out but here are a few reasons why growing a ‘stache may not be a good idea:

  1. You’re not Burt Reynolds and you certainly are NOT Tom Selleck.
  2. There is a very, very, very fine line between looking hipster cool and looking like a child molester.
  3. The above goes double if you sport glasses, especially those that fall in the emo-hipster vein — thick-rimmed, black, et al.
  4. Hitler sported a mini ‘stache.
  5. It’s not the 70’s.
  6. It’s also not the 80’s.
  7. Straight up ‘staches from the above decades are boring — handlebar and Frenchy ‘staches are the way to go. The curlier and pointier, the better. Cole Maness is a good example and if you sport a shaved head like him, even better.
  8. The ‘stache’s alter ego as “_______ tickler” is a falsehood perpetrated by the Royal Order of Moustachios to get more men to sport them when no women I know like them.

The plush moustache in the thumbnail above is sold by friend Shawn of Shawnimals. He makes good stuff.

1 And I applaud all of those in the name of great moustache wearers i.e. Tom Selleck.  ↩

Notes (6)


Posted in

City Life, Miscellany, Pop Culture, Products, Small Thoughts, The Web


6 Notes

May 13 2008
12:59am

Tim

Haha, that a good article. It’s all the rage here in Sweden as well.

But one thing I want to comment on is reason #5 and #6 in your list. I don’t know what the latest fashion is like in the US, but here in Sweden, well…... it’s all 80’s again here. A lot of younger kids who were clearly too young to remember anything how it looked like back then, are …. well, dressed like people in my childhood. Thank God I had a happy childhood….


May 13 2008
09:46am

Cory

Don’t forget the reasons why growing a ‘stache may be a GOOD idea (not in regards to Mustache May, you shouldn’t need a support group to grow a stache):

1. You are Burt Reynolds or Tom Selleck.
2. Its 2000-ish. Nose fur is making a comeback.
3. Hipster hair is stupid, lip hair is awesome.
4. You aren’t interested in kissing girls. They actually hate mustaches, and its a good way to scare them away.
5. You don’t mind putting mustache wax on. I can tell you from experience, that mustache wax is gross and the residue is even grosser, but don’t let that deter you.


May 13 2008
11:16am

Michael

Thanks for the link. As for moustaches and hipster-ism – I agree. There is a fine line. Personally I’m a supporter of the curling stache – only way to go. The Tom Selleck / Burt Reynolds style should be reserved for policemen and firefighters.


May 13 2008
02:34pm

Joshua

Just last week I tried growing a stash. Then i saw a picture of myself. It was “creeped-the-hell-out” all the way. Never again.


May 13 2008
03:08pm

bennion

this clip really says it all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2EdEDVej2A


May 13 2008
06:28pm

Burt Reynolds

Hey, both Sally Field AND Loni used to go bonkers when I buffed them with my duster!

(double eyebrow-waggle)



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